My Loved One Just Died, Now What? Three Important First Steps in Probate Estate Administration

The death of a loved one has a way of altering the senses and experiences: time slows, concentration wanes, and attention wanders. You may have trouble sleeping or eating. You may experience a range of emotions: anger, grief, sadness, guilt, numbness, disbelief, and sometimes—particularly if your loved one had been suffering—a sense of relief. The world feels disorienting and unrecognizable, even as everyone else operates as if life were “normal.”

We often get telephone calls from family members or loved ones who are in the midst of this disorientation. They express their eagerness to start the legal process, wanting to be officially appointed by the court as the executor as soon as possible. Sometimes, they live out of town and wonder how they will coordinate everything from a distance. They worry about sibling dynamics, property inheritance, and debt payment before the funeral even occurs.

Probate estate administration can feel overwhelming. We recommend breaking the process down into three steps:

1. Give yourself some time to grieve and breathe.

   Generally, we recommend that family members and loved ones focus on their immediate grief and the memorial service or funeral arrangements first.
   Contrary to popular belief, settling someone’s estate usually doesn’t require immediate action. It’s okay to wait a few weeks before seeking legal advice.

   Spend that time grieving, planning the memorial service, and meeting with family and friends to share memories of the deceased and receive comfort and support. Those first several weeks can be challenging, and if you’re grieving, you need to allow yourself to be present and receive support from others before diving into the process of settling the estate.

2. Find someone who focuses on probate and estate administration.

   Once you are ready, we strongly recommend consulting with an attorney who concentrates on estate administration before you try to tackle the process yourself. We have worked with so many clients who find themselves in difficult situations that could have been avoided if they had only known a few key pieces of information. You can save yourself so much grief, expense, and stress if you consult with an attorney first – instead of going it alone and then asking an attorney to salvage the situation.

3. Work through the process together.

   When you eventually meet with an attorney, it’s best to be prepared with a general idea about the assets your loved one owned, how they were titled, or if they had beneficiary designations. You should also know the general amount of your loved one’s debts. Virginia offers several levels of probate estate administration, along with processes that can ensure that the surviving spouse or minor child(ren) receive priority payment from their loved one’s assets, even if it means creditors get less money. Being able to make informed choices from the beginning can save you time, effort, and money.

Once you have gathered the above information to the best of your ability, scheduling a consultation with our firm is the best next step. We can provide you with the advice and guidance you need to make the best decisions about your loved one’s estate.

Probate estate administration is a daunting task. But we’re here to help! Contact our office at (757) 279-8127 to schedule a consultation. We look forward to hearing from you.